Free at last from Smack and Heroin.

by Susan Baldrey
(Bangalore, Karnataka, India)

When I turned to smack and heroin I felt like I was sailing and I had no cares in the world but my situation became worse and I had to go for detoxing myself. My parents placed me in a detox institution where there were many like me. At first it felt like a nightmare, I was shaking, screaming, losing myself. I thought it was the end of my world. I thought there was no other life without drugs.

When they started to detox my habits, I lost my interest for food, could not do anything with my body, it felt useless. I began to lose weight and was one of the most worse looking human being in that detox center. I did not like the touch of water. I lost control of my mind and body movements. I was vomiting, lost control of my bowels. When my parents used to come for counseling, I felt embarassed to face them, as I was just a bag of bones. When I see injections I feel disgusted with my self as I used to inject morphine till I had no veins left to do it.

As I cleaned up and everything was being washed away from my body, mind and spirit, I started to see life. The detoxing was doing wonders for me. I started to take care of myself, wash my clothes, enjoy nature, the fresh air, the sun, the moon and the stars. I missed out on so much. I started to care for my skin, my beauty, my hair. I became a beautiful woman once again. Everyone was proud of me, I started to put back smiles on every ones face. They started to trust me and like me once again. In body and mind became healthy and strong. Otherwise I used to look always drugged and dazed but today I have a shine on my skin and a swing to my voice, its great to be back to the real world of today. I am well informed of the world and what is happening to me. Its 6 years now that I am clean and have not and will not tread down that miserable life of no meaning. Now I am enjoying a fulfilled life to the very core. Now I advise anyone never to go down that path and today I counsul with other drug users and give them my life experience.

Reply from Cheryl Cholley:

Wow! A very moving story of strength and perseverance. Thanks so much for your story.

I'm sure reading about your experiences will help others to have the determination to go through detox and turn their lives around.