Opiates. The pain of addiction.

by Daniel
(Springdale, AR USA)

Hi,

My name is Daniel, and I have a story to tell. It is about my addiction to opiates, and one that I need to share. It all started when I injured myself at work. I had a job that was one of the best in the world. I was a logging analyst for oil drilling rigs. My job was to tell them the current rock formation they are drilling through, and to monitor gas readings that come up from the well. In layman's terms, I was paid to draw squiggly lines and play in mud. A trained monkey could do 90% of this job, as one of my best friends likes to say.

As I said before, I managed to injure myself at work. I had to setup all the equipment we use to do the job, some of which can weigh well over 60 lbs. I managed to injure my back lifting that 60 lb object.

Well, I was prescribed Darvon initially and sent back to work, with instructions on only to perform light lifting and get someone else to do the heavy stuff. When Darvon stopped working after the first month, I was prescribed Vicodin and had to take a break from work for physical therapy.

Then I had my car wreck, and sank into a deep depression. About the same time I was told by my boss that I was cut for medical reasons. I started double dosing on Vicodin then, because it helped me feel better. It felt like it put the color back into my life. I started feeling a euphoria from taking them that would last a good 2 hours, not to mention my back didn't hurt much at all during this time.

Eventually it came to a point where I would get up in the middle of the night and take them, and wake up not even realizing it. At first I thought I was being robbed. I couldn't think of anyone who could get into my apartment at night, though. When my mom moved in with me to help out with rent and bills, she eventually found out that I was taking them in my sleepwalking fits.

I should have known then that I had a problem. Eventually I was told by my doctor that he would not prescribe me any more, and referred to a methadone clinic. The sad part about this is the methadone clinic said that I was not addicted, even though I was still going through horrible withdrawals.

They even turned me away when I came back to them a second time, shaking and running a fever while having cold sweats. At that point I knew that help wouldn't be coming.

I then found a doctor that ordered an MRI done on my back. Turns out I had an injury that wouldn't heal properly. I had aggravated an old high school injury from when I was tackled while running the ball to a goal. This doctor put me on Fentanyl patches. These patches are supposed to last 2 to 3 days, and deliver a medicine that is almost 100 times the strength of morphine.

Not to mention the price tag that these things carry.. I was paying almost 500 dollars for a month's supply. Within a few months I ran out of cash. And by that time my body was adjusted to the Fentanyl. Good god, those withdrawals are the worst I have ever had from anything.

For 3 days, I had a migraine that felt like a drill was being applied to my forehead. I had cold sweats, hot sweats, aches and pains all over my body. I had hot flashes and cold flashes every 10 to 15 seconds. What was supposed to be stool was water whenever I went to the bathroom, and it burned coming out. I couldn't get any help from the hospitals because they thought I was a drug seeker coming off of heroin.

I eventually learned of something called poppy tea, and to this day I still use it. It is a tea made from the same plant that morphine is extracted from. Not only did this help with my withdrawals, it helped immensely with my back pain.

It is also addictive, so I must watch how much I take per day. I am also on Tramadol now for my back pain, and I have weaned myself off of the tea almost entirely. The Tramadol was excellent in staving off the withdrawal symptoms of the tea, and now I only take the tea when I have severe pains that the tramadol can't help. Even then, when I stop the tea after the pain goes away, I have mild withdrawal symptoms and a bad headache.

But it was nothing like Fentanyl. That stuff is crazy powerful, and I suggest to anyone who is coming off of it, be sure to have other opiates to wean yourself down off of it. Ultram is the best at this, in my opinion. And be sure to find a kind and compassionate doctor, not the neo-nazi that my first doctor was. He wouldn't even get an x-ray for me, and has forever tarnished my medical records by labeling me an addict, even though I have a valid injury.

Reply from Cheryl Cholley:

I know the problems you have been through. It's a wonder that you've had the strength to try to withdraw from the medications. I don't try to pretend I have medical training, but some of my experiences parallel your problem.

On this site I relate stories about how my husband, Tom, contracted a disease called Guillan Barre'. It's a nerve disease that causes horrific pain. His case kept him paralyzed for a year and a half, dealing with the pain in any way possible.

He was given pain medication, and told there was no cure and he'd simply have to wait until it passed.

As he began to recover from the disease, he found that he had become dependent on the pain meds. He is a very stubborn man and he began to reduce his dosage and increase the times between doses of his medication.

Eventually he found he could take about 1/4 of one pill about once every two days and get relief, but if he didn't take the medication he would experience much more pain than he should have felt.

It was the addiction, or as the doctor described it, a dependency. He explained that an addiction is not based on need, but rather on use of drugs with no true medical need. I think it's the same thing, but...oh well.

Anyway, the doctor prescribed a medication that Tom was to take for two weeks and then stop taking it. After those two weeks were over, Tom no longer needed to take the pain medication.

I feel that if you continue in your quest to rid yourself of the dependency, you'll have the same success Tom did. Then your body can heal and you can address the health issues that have resulted from the use of the drugs.

Good luck! I sincerely hope you have success in your future.